Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
