i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
