you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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