Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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