He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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