He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
