yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize