it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
