How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
