I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
