i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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