I'm going to jail i love you
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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