i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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