Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
His hands were made for my vagina.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
