Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize