Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
