Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
