JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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