I'm drive I can fine osifer
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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