i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
