nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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