my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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