she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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