But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
