As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
