They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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