My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
