Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
