I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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