In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Randomize
