he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Found the puke drawer
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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