I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
