# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
