if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
