Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have post one night stand depression
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