Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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