Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
