$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She needs sedatives and a leash
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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