I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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