LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize