I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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