She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fuck appropriateness.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize