I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
