It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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