I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
