his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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