i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Your penis caused this!
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