Your mouth is God's brothel.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
