you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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