I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Are we still banned from the library?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
