scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
