nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
