If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
