i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's always time for handjobs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
