I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We are two peas in an std pod
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
