It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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