HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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