It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
