Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
