I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
