She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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