I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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