I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
