you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I don't deserve a penis
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
