I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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